I’ve been going through a horrible depressive period lately. It’s been slowly degrading into days filled with pain and depression. What triggers these episodes? On the surface I’m doing everything I can think of that’s “right”, and yet I still have bad periods. I’ve stopped having the energy to do any dharma-related things. I drag myself out to at least do some sort of exercise every day, but otherwise I’m back on ambien so I can get sleep and have a doctor’s appointment to get back on antidepressants. I also plan to ask for a medical marijuana prescription for my chronic pain issues. Whether that will help or make things worse I don’t know. But I can find no relief for my pain.
I’m tired of spending my days with my body tensed up, living under a dark, hovering cloud that keeps repeating to me how worthless my life is.
It’s no wonder I can’t reach out and help anyone else, I can barely support my own existence.