I’ve started to rewrite here so many times and kept aborting my stories… it’s been that sort of summer. Too much to say, too much I feel. So I’ll start from the way I’m suppose to start everything. From the tiniest grain of a rambling, disjointed story, and let it grow on its own.
I spent the summer in Colorado Springs where my very ill mother lives. The stress on both my mind and my body tipped me past desperation and into inspiration (“The greatest inspiration is often born of desperation” by Comer Cotrell). I began doing a Patricia Walden PM yoga DvD, and swore to myself I would begin a running program. Something good had to come of it all.
After an eternity, I finally was able to find a way to come back home to my house and husband and dog. I continued my running program. My knees began hurting me again, so, determined, I picked up a book I have called “Chi Running” by Danny Dryer.
For the last month or so since I’ve been back I’ve been running for 20 minutes a day and doing an hour of Patricia Walden yoga. My back pain has still been agonizing, and my stress and hot flashes guarantee I continue my suffering.
In the same vein of “The greatest inspiration is often born of desperation”, I began meditating the other day. I felt so much better, I stepped it up yesterday to 2 yoga sessions and 2 meditation sessions.
I still crave ativan, I’m still overdosing myself on ambien so I can get sleep, and I still crave pain killers. If I don’t get control over my pain and mental issues before my physical next month I will find myself begging my doctor for more pills. So here is hoping the gods of the earth will nurture me back to mental and physical health.