The World Was Created To Make Us Crazy


Ah sweet!  A morning of coffee and completing the processing of all of the forms from Mom’s caretakers.  It’s only taken about 1 1/2 months to get all of the paperwork done to complete the process of employing them legally, including enduring verbal abuse from my brother for refusing to pay them under the table and pushing and prodding for them to get their paperwork done so I can pay them.  All the while being called a “bitch” by bro.  Being Power of Attorney is most definitely a job that I would call completely thankless.  It’s anything but “Power”.  I’ll feel much better after my lawyer’s appointment in December, knowing that I’m not putting my own funds at risk and knowing that if this ends up being a court case in any way that I will be innocent of all wrongdoings.

Every single week I have piles of papers in my office.  Each pile is an issue that needs to be resolved.  More forms to fill out, notaries that need to be visited, more bills that need to be track down with insurance, more notifications that need to be sent to her nurses, more bills to pay, checks to deposit, accounts to balance….  All this and spreadsheeting and logging every single thing I do, and scanning in every single important invoice or statement or notice, and then copying everything in triplicate in case of any drive failures.  In addition to a hardcopy I keep of every single piece of paper and every bank account transaction.  Every single thing is done transparently with my brothers.

Anyone out there think this is an easy job?  I feel sorry for the millions of other old people in this world who don’t have college educated honest engineers to do all this crap for them, because it’s dead serious, responsible work and sloppiness or deviousness could easily ruin a helpless or dying elderly person’s estate.

It fills me with sadness that this job is so difficult, but Mom is one of so many absolutely identical situations, and I know that I’m a one in a million.  The average person would never go through this amount of work.  I know for a fact that if I weren’t doing this, the paperwork would be sitting in piles in someone’s apartment and no human being would know where anything is.

Things are going so well for me today!  I have all of the girls’ forms!  And only one pile of Power of Attorney Applications to resolve with Mom’s stock broker.  I shouldn’t be ranting like this, I should be celebrating and writing flowery inspirational stuff.  But I can’t control what my hands want to say.

It’s funny at how the human mind works.  Were we intended to work this way?  When you’re in a state of meditation, your mind clears and settles.  If you were to drop a beautiful rose into that state, you’d immediately think “oh what a lovely rose!”  But if you were to drop the word “bitch”, then you’d think “shit.  asshole!”  Imagine dropping an entire world into that state.  I don’t know about you, but it’s really easy for me to see why my head is so messed up.  Before I know it, that state of calm and clarity is completely buried amongst moments of tearing my hair out littered with “oh how sweet!” moments.  That makes me think that all of us non-enlightened must have some sort of schizophrenia.  The world was created to make us crazy.  The trick is to recognize that and keep coming back to the calm clarity.

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The World Was Created To Make Us Crazy

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