Tentatively Peeking Out At the World

I spent the morning perusing blogs that show up on my wordpress main page.  I’ve never done this before.  Up until now, some blogs posts have appeared in my email, and I get likes and an occasional comment.  I never took the time to figure out where all that was coming from.  I knew my posts were going somewhere because out of nowhere I’ll get notifications of “likes”.  It’s as though there are fairies hovering in my life, interested in me and what I have to say.

So I’m peeping out from under my introverted shell, wondering who these fairies are — and maybe just a little bit curious about them too.

I’ve started to break my sitting meditation sessions up into three stages.  The first is perfect posture, with my left hand over my right, in front of my belly button, thumbs lighty touching.  Back straight, head transitioning back with the tip of my head pointing towards the ceiling.  I concentrate on keeping this posture as relaxed as possible, not putting too much pressure on my neck, but making sure my head doesn’t fall forward.  I’ll sit like this for, maybe 20 minutes.

In the second phase of my sitting meditations I ease my position.  I put my hands on my thighs lightly, and just hold my head up but don’t try to be so strict about its positioning.  Sometimes I’ll open my eyes, sometimes I’ll close them.  Sometimes, like last night, I’ll contemplate something.  Last night my contemplation was infinity.  Expanding my mind to infinity.  Where is the end of infinity?  What does it feel like to live in that space?  Or…. if we already live in that space, what does it mean to understand it in any way shape or form?

The contemplation of infinity is so expansive and yet full, it negates the brain from being able to have room for anything so trivial as day-to-day complaints or worries.

So that was my contemplation for last night.  The last part of my meditations now is prayer.  I find that the very prayer position somehow changes the energy going through my body.  I drop my head, no longer asking it to support itself.  I don’t ask my back to be straight as a board, I just bow my head to my prayer hands, usually with my meditation beads intertwined.

I’ve often wondered why the energy in my body changes when I go into the prayer position.  Now I imagine that the energy is millions and millions of other people, also in prayer position, praying for me.  And I begin praying for them.  Our energies bring them into my meditation closet as one white light of calming, prayerful energy, wishing each other peace and joyfulness, coming together and wishing love upon the world together.

I think all of this means that my life is gingerly being more aware that there is more to this world than just me and my problems.  Today I peek out from under my protective shell with curiosity.

Tentatively Peeking Out At the World

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