Have you ever managed to paint yourself into the proverbial corner because of your words? What did you do while waiting for them “to dry”?
(Thanks for suggesting this prompt, alphabetstory!)
I’ll make a confession. I paint myself into corners every time I volunteer to do something. I’m such an introvert that the mere presence of other people gives me physical reactions of stress. The worst experiences I’ve had trying to “socialize” myself have been times when I’ve tried taking part in religious groups. I feel pressured into volunteering for things, and before I know it, I’m committed to doing something I’m emotionally incapable of doing. I can handle one day of volunteer work, but although I’m intellectually perfectly capable of helping out, the disruption to my solitude and routine throw me off and make me bananas if the commitment is for much longer.
I usually solve the problem by making up excuses and walking away from the commitment. It’s a horrible thing to do, but I know from the very beginning I won’t be able to commit to regular group activities. I get caught up in the “I should”‘s and “This will be good for me.”‘s or more importantly “I should be volunteering to do my part.”
Hubby never ever feels the urge to volunteer for things, and he can’t understand why I volunteer when something that’s supposed to be fun and community oriented turns out to be so catastrophic in my head.
This is part of my weirdness. Maybe one thing that will get better through meditation? Or maybe something that will get better through trying to think outside the box. For instance, I’ve never had issues with going to health clubs, and although I did get the physical reactions, I managed to do ok in the workplace. Being retired has made my social abilities much worse. Even meeting one-on-one with friends has become a lot harder simply because I’m so dependent upon the stability of a daily routine in my house, with my dog. Hubby respects my solitude, so he knows my boundaries.