Well, folks, I have two overstuffed envelopes and a stack of miscellaneous papers, a car that may or may not start, and black ice warnings to get to my tax accountant today.  If the car starts and I get there alive, I’ll dump everything on his desk, and being the nice person he is, he’ll smile and start sorting through the mess without even a grudge.  I guess if you do people’s taxes you get used to them dumping grocery bags of paperwork on your desk and instructing you to “make sense out of this please”.

He sends me forms to fill out every year.  I don’t know what they’re all about, so I just ignore them and give them back to him, empty.  He’s never made a stink about my negligence in this area.

And then I’ll sit quietly for 20 minutes while he opens each envelope and categorizes everything into stacks, tapping into his little desk calculator at the speed of light as he flips through papers.  His tapping hand is so adept at using that calculator he doesn’t even bother to look at it until the tapping is all done.  Then he glances down at it, settles back in his chair with his fingers crossed in front of him and announces to me “we’re still short 1099’s, your mother’s real estate information, and the total amount you spend on health insurance”.

And then I make a list of all of the things I need to gather.  I will spend the next couple of days scratching my head, wondering how the hell I’m going to get that information.

But then!  THEN I’ll be free for another year!

May my car start, black ice not kill me, and may I have good luck this year and not have too many action items.

What’s better, taxes or death?  I haven’t made my mind up on that one yet.

Addendum:  Car won’t start, so I can’t even get past step 1 today 😦

Death, methinks…


8 thoughts on “Taxes

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