The phone rings and I turn over and look at caller ID. It’s Hubby. My first thought is “Oh no, his mother died.” That’s what phone calls are to me these days: Horrible news that I find I’m never fully prepared for.
“I have some incredibly, amazingly, wonderful fantastic news,” he says.
“Oh? What is your incredibly, amazingly, wonderful fantastic news, Dear?”
“I figured out my golf swing…. finally!”
“Isn’t this, like, the billionth time you’ve told me this?” The tone and volume of my voice rise. How much golf talk torture can a human being take in a lifetime before they go completely bat-shit crazy, I regularly wonder?
“No wait, but this is different! I’ve figured out that it’s all in the hips!”
“You’ve told me THAT a billion times too!” My Watcher mind whispers “calm… calm”. I try to be calm, though my hand quivers, dying to slam my finger on the disconnect icon.
“This is different!” He repeats. “I hit the ball across the road every single time! I’ve finally GOT it!”
“Congrats. Now can I go back to sleep?”
“See you later tonight. Love you.”
“Love you too.” Sigh. This is what it’s like to be married to someone for 21 years.
You get some incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
All About Being Human (award-free zone) 
Cherish the love!
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I’ve been married 41 years and have never once rung my wife to say my golf’s improved! Probably because I broke my spine in Cambodia before I met her and had to give up golf. I prefer her anyway! :)
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I should label this fiction. He doesn’t call me to tell me these things, but he does tell me the exact same golf enlightenment stories over and over and over…. and over
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I’ve been thinking about this all day. How did you break your spine?
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Hahaha!
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I’ve been married for 25 years. Life is full of news. Good or bad it’s up to us to interpret.
It’s badminton in my man’s case, and also about his favorite weekly and weekend activities that he must must do or else…
It’s about listening to stories about his continuous work-related journeys, I too enjoy listening but sometimes I resent. But it’s not his fault.
I’ve tried to think positively, that married people are not meant to cling to each other. They must have their own space. They are there to support each other and not suffocate. At the end of the day we are all alone. Live alone, die alone.
I think I need to write an article on this topic soon.
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I just showed my post to Hubby and he laughed. Coincidentally, today was his first day of going to the driving range for the season. omg, now I’m going to have another 6 months of nothing but hearing about how it’s all in the hips.
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Re my; spine in a helicopter crash.I was the only survivor. I had abrilliant surgeon who had me walking and running in three months .Iwas a war correspondent in Virtnam 1968-71.
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Wow… what a blessing to have survived that.
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LOL! You made me smile :) I don’t do it very often…
Thank you!
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Hehe, glad to be of service to your smile then! Thank you!
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You always make me laugh! the golf-talk-torture-batshit-crazy line cracked me up!! :)
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Haha, thank you so much! <3
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Oh, the hell a man will get if the roles were reversed.
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I wouldn’t dream of boring my wife with golf stories – surfing stories on the other hand … :)
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I can relate to the ..over and over stories routine! 😊
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Haha!
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