Daily Prompt: Live Dangerously! Use Baby Shampoo on Your Vagina!


Have you noticed that there is a different soap for everything?  There’s a soap for washing dishes, another one for washing clothes, another one for the hair, the hands, the face, I even have a special soap for the vagina, and a special cleansing cream for the, um, anus.  I know, I know, TMI.  I’m trying to make a point, though.

My point is, if you used the vaginal soap for your face, would it burn your face off?  Worse yet, would it make a vagina out of your face?

If I use face soap on my genitals, would a second face appear down there?

I always thought there was some sort of religious sacrament that would be broken if you crossed the line and misused a soap created for a specific purpose.  I didn’t know what, though.  Lightning would strike you?  The house would flood?  What exactly?

I was so convinced that SOMETHING bad would happen, I never tried it.

Until a good friend of mine invited me to his house for lunch one day soon after I retired.  I watched in total disbelief as he used HAND soap to wash his dishes!  “Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing?!” I screamed.  “Where’s your dishwashing soap?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said calmly.  Of course it didn’t matter to him, the guy’s a Buddhist.  Nothing rattles a Buddhist.

I went home and tried it — at first cautiously.  Hand soap on dishes.  It seemed to work just fine.  Not even the windows rattled when I did it.  Somehow that rewired my brain.  Some sort of absolute, unquestionable universal truth was suddenly shattered.

I had a Costco-size package of Johnson’s Baby Shampoo in my basement.  It was bought when we were doing a lot of scuba diving.  Baby Shampoo is good stuff for cleaning scuba masks because it makes them fog-free.  After we stopped scuba diving, though, this package of two huge containers of baby shampoo sat idly in the basement.  After all, we have no babies, what the hell was I going to do with it?

I brought the baby shampoo upstairs, and as totally gross as it sounded, I tried using it to clean my hair.  I discovered much to my amazement that my hair was softer!  I tried it on my vagina (ok, TMI, I know, but stay with me here).  It was so gentle, my vagina didn’t sting!  Even that special vaginal soap wasn’t that gentle!

I experimented with more cross-uses.  I used organic lemon all-purpose soap on the dog, and he didn’t die.  I used shampoo in the washing machine — THAT was not a good idea.  Somehow the washing machine wants real washing machine soap or it gets all sudsy-weird.

I used my vaginal soap as bubble bath.  It wasn’t the best bubble bath I’ve had, but it was acceptable enough.  After all, I had to use it for SOMETHING.  I wasn’t going to use it on my vagina ever again, that’s for damned sure.

So I’m just sayin’.  The next time you need your vagina cleaned, don’t buy that $15 vaginal garbage, just buy Johnson’s Baby Shampoo.

Think of a topic or issue about which you’ve switched your opinion. Why the change?
Flip Flop

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Daily Prompt: Live Dangerously! Use Baby Shampoo on Your Vagina!

18 thoughts on “Daily Prompt: Live Dangerously! Use Baby Shampoo on Your Vagina!

  1. I can’t stop laughing 😀
    Mainly because I 100% absolutely understand this. I’m just as anal about so many things.
    For me it has to do with how I was raised and the billion and one rules I’ve already forced myself to unlearn and the trillion I’m still working on.
    It’s amazing how we box ourselves into perfectionist behaviours we think guide us in life when so many times they cut us off from living and experiencing the fullness of the world.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. New Mexico is a very dry state, which my skin is still getting used to (having moved from Houston, where there’s only humidity). All the different soaps tend to make the dryness worse, so I started using generic baby soap. I mean, if it doesn’t irritate a baby’s skin, it won’t irritate mine, right? Works pretty good. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. FCM says:

    You’re a rebel. Next thing you’ll be using vegetable oil in your car engine. Be careful…there are agents looking for people like you. One day you’ll just soap-ily slip into silence.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Bald is beautiful! Don’t use car wash on it, though, omg! Use Baby Shampoo. I wish I’d known about baby shampoo when I was going through chemo. I could never figure out what to wash my bald head with.

      Like

  4. Organic lemon soap MAY seem good for your dog, but it’s not good for Rover’s skin. It may be organic and all purpose, but don’t use it on your dog. I LOVE the Earthbath Lemon Shampoo and Conditioner for dogs, but it’s great to experiment!

    Liked by 1 person

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