How Not to Visit the Zoo


Ok, so I’m sitting here naked, drenched in sweat, trying to think of something funny to write today. Our outdoor thermometer claims it’s 97 degrees. I don’t think it’s that hot, but I think it will get close to that in a couple of hours.

Here’s a story for you. My family is not the most organized in the world, especially when it comes to group coordination.

One time, we decided to have a family reunion trip to the zoo. We managed to get our several carloads of people to the parking lot and meet up just fine.

Standing in front of the zoo with our tickets, everyone talked at once, and then everyone nodded at once in agreement. Thus resulting in no one knowing what the plan was. I swear on my great grandmother’s grave, this is true.

We all entered the gates, filled with complete clarity on what we were doing, and then broke off into a couple of groups. The groups went their separate ways.

My group went off to, I dunno, maybe see the monkeys. We were going to rejoin the others at a particular spot afterwards.

After seeing the monkeys, we went to the designated spot and waited. And waited. And waited. For hours. This was, maybe 15 years ago. I can’t remember whether cell phones were in common use back then. In any case, apparently none of us thought to bring them or maybe we tried to use them, who knows.

Well, as it turned out, every single group was stranded in a different spot, waiting for the others to join them.  We managed to find each other eventually.  By that time, though, tempers had flared to the point where my sister-in-law stormed off saying she was going home. Which terminated our family excursion to the zoo, my group having only seen the monkeys.

I’m reading this and frowning. Is it because I can feel the swelter of the day about to descend upon me, or is it because this story is still not funny to me? I think it’s because this story is still not funny to me. It’s about as funny as I can muster at the moment, though. Let’s pretend the prompt is asking for strange funny and not haha funny.


Written in response to Retrospectively Funny : Tell us about a situation that was not funny at all while it was happening, but that you now laugh about whenever you remember it. Thank you for suggesting this prompt, ivyon!

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How Not to Visit the Zoo

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