Wow, it’s 11 AM and I just awoke. My world seems really screwed up lately. With my medication changes, my sleep patterns are way out of whack. Some nights I just get a couple of hours of sleep, and last night I got 11 hours. I guess it’s par for the course to have a crazy sleep schedule when you’re reducing sleeping pills.
Cutting down on my Ativan, though, has taken away my anxiety support, and I think it’s taken away my imaginative (and funny) writing muse. It doesn’t help that I’m spending an inordinate amount of time immersing myself in my new NY Times Kindle subscription. There’s very little going on in the world that’s funny, except maybe Donald Trump. I’ve wondered if his stab at the election run is purely for entertainment purposes. I mean, what would you do if you had billions of dollars and had seen and done everything?
The really beautiful news is, FALL’S FINALLY HERE (I hope — this is New England where nothing happens predictably, unfortunately.). It rained all night, so all of the trees and birds are chilling, enjoying the free drinks, and the temperature is 65 degrees F (according to weather.com).
On the subject of today’s daily prompt — About five years ago I tried doing something called “Morning Pages” which is a term coined by the book “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. You get up every morning and write so many pages freeform, without hesitating or conscious thinking. I’m sure most of us who aspire to being writers have done similar exercises to connect the hands with the imaginative self.
The problem with this exercise is, having done nothing but typing for 30 years, I’d lost my ability or patience to write anything by hand. My Morning Pages filled notebooks and notebooks and notebooks of crazy, unreadable gibberish.
Well, eventually my Morning Pages triggered a depressive episode so I quit. Morning pages are great for bringing up emotional blockages, but they didn’t help me deal with the resulting feelings that poured out.
Today, though, I’d probably do better emotionally with the Morning Pages, because I’ve learned that, for me, they are better done in conjunction with meditation. However, I really dislike writing things by hand. If I ever did it again, I think I’d break the rules and do it on the computer.
The last time I wrote anything by hand was at my first visit to the first Massachusetts MMJ dispensary, two days ago. I was disappointed to discover that their introductory visit consisted of a somewhat misguided video on the dangers of drug addiction, and a packet of information. There were no counselors or advisers to help new patients learn the ins and outs. I came home with a vape pen and cartridges. This vape pen is so potent that one tiny puff gets me uncomfortably stoned (One dose, according to the clerk, is an 8-second puff, holy shit!).
In Colorado, I bought a disposable vape pen that was perfect for me as far as not getting me too stoned. Maybe it was diluted. The dosing of cannabis seems way out of control to me. It seems to be purely arbitrary from dispensary to dispensary. Let’s remember that MMJ means medical cannabis, meaning for people with medical issues, who need to have a reliable measure of what they’re ingesting. The industry is so weighted down with the legalities, though, apparently they don’t have the knowledge to establish scientifically-based regulations.
Until it’s more regulated, patients really need caregivers who can figure this stuff out on their behalf. Otherwise, we’re going to have MMJ patients having bad experiences, and it will defeat the positive contributions cannabis can make in their lives. I’ve been doing MMJ for a year, and I’ve only just figured out how to use a water bong, having never thought to YouTube it before. Oh man, I can’t wait until recreational cannabis gets legalized and we older people can have support groups or meetups where we can learn from each other. YouTube is packed with information, but you have to know to look for it.
Anyway, so I signed and dated three pages of this packet of information. That’s the last time I wrote anything by hand.